12. From Ministry to Memory Care: The Simple Conversation Starters That Unlock Life's Sacred Stories

Whitney Myers, owner and founder of Sacred Stories, shares how personal storytelling through video preserves legacies and enhances care. Her background in ministry, memory care, and family documentation created a natural path toward helping others preserve their life stories through high-quality filmed interviews.

Discussion points:

• Following life's "arrows" rather than looking for definitive answers when making important decisions
• The critical importance of knowing someone's life story when providing care, especially in memory care settings
• Simple conversation starters that open doors to meaningful storytelling, like "What have you been up to lately?"
• How legacy videos are primarily kept private by families as treasured keepsakes
• The value of documenting family stories even with basic equipment - "something is better than nothing"
• Creating meaningful intergenerational conversations through games, dinner table discussions, and guided questions
• The sacred quality of personal stories and how they connect us on a deeper level

Connect with Whitney at sacredstoriesfilms.com to learn more about legacy videos and access her resources for storytelling.

Contact:  info@sacredstoriesfilms.com

Sharing Our Stories Ebook - sacredstoriesfilms.com/sharing-stories-ebook

Instagram - @sacredstoriesfilms
Facebook - @sacredstoriesfilms
Linked In - linkedin.com/in/whitney-myers1/
Vimeo - @sacredstoriesfilms
Website - sacredstoriesfilms.com

Thank you for listening!

Do you have a question or a topic related to "capturing essence for care" that you would like discussed on the podcast? Send Lisa an email: awestruckaspirations@gmail.com

Interested in learning more?

• Check out my Etsy Shop
• Visit my YouTube channel or website

Intro and outro music with thanks: Upbeat and Sweet No Strings by Musictown

Chapters

• 0:05 Introduction to Capturing Essence for Care
• 1:38 Meet Whitney: Sacred Stories Filmmaker
• 2:48 Following the Arrows: Whitney's Path
• 8:44 Video Production Journey and Process
• 11:03 Starting Conversations That Matter
• 16:42 How Families Use Legacy Videos
• 27:42 The Sacred Nature of Personal Stories
• 31:52 Closing Thoughts and Connect Information

Transcript

Lisa: 0:05

Welcome to Capturing Essence for Care, where we discuss the importance of incorporating personal life stories into healthcare and share ideas to help you on your journey. I'm your host, Lisa Joworski. Hello everyone, welcome to Capturing Essence for Care, and I'm very excited today to have somebody I consider to be a friend. Her name is Whitney Myers and she's doing incredible work in Austin, Texas. She's the owner and founder of Sacred Stories, an Austin-based legacy and tribute video production company. She serves as producer and principal interviewer on each film project.

Lisa: 0:42

Whitney is a member of the International Center for Life Story Practice and Innovation, the Oral History Association, Senior Industry Services of Austin and Lake Travis Senior Services. Amongst her other professional skills and qualifications, she has a certificate in life story practice and research from the University of Connecticut and is a trained narrative four-story exchange facilitator. Whitney is a self-described connector of people oh, I love it, Whitney and loves to discover ways that stories of our lives are intertwined. Whitney, I'm very excited that you joined me today. Welcome to this podcast, and it's just quite an honour to speak with you, Somebody who I've really looked up to because of your work in legacy and film, and I think we align a lot in some of those values that go along with video production for this purpose. So thank you for joining me.

Whitney Myers: 1:40

Absolutely. I'm thrilled to be here and thank you for that introduction.

Lisa: 1:50

Yeah, absolutely. I'd love to start with just you sharing a little bit more about sacred stories and telling me how that got to be, where the name came from and anything else that you'd like to share.

Whitney Myers: 1:58

Sure. So there's a woman I actually follow on Instagram and she says that whenever we're trying to make a decision in our lives, we should look for the arrows and not the answers, and so that's something like I will journal about. Quite a bit is looking for arrows, and so when I think about like how sacred stories came to be, I can look back and see there were certain arrows that were pointing me to this work. And for just sake of time, you know, we'll unpack all of that because there's a lot more my Sacred Stories, but a couple of the arrows that sort of led me to do this work that I'm doing now. I'd say there are four big ones, one being just my family life, my family of origin. Conversations that we had, the way my parents read to me, taught me about storytelling, how to relate to people. That was just. That was the environment I was raised in and carry that with me now. It's an important part of who I am.

Whitney Myers: 3:09

Second arrow, I would say I worked in ministry for 11 years Some people know that about me, some don't and just acquired a lot of people skills during that time and had the privilege to walk with people through very traumatic life events big, you know scary, hard things and then very joyful things too. So you can kind of see that's an arrow that points to what I do now, the third being something that you and I've talked a lot about offline and that is work in memory care. And there was a season when I worked in a memory care community and just interacting with the residents, their families, people who don't have memories in the same way anymore, and just how we give care, and you and I've talked a lot about that, because it aligns with the work that you do and something that bonded us together. And then I'd say, the fourth kind of arrow that led me to doing what I'm doing now is a passion to record my own family stories. My in-laws call me the family historian and they gave me that name years ago, and it's just.

Whitney Myers: 4:30

I enjoy taking pictures of events I've documented, recorded on audio and video stories from my own family years ago, like VHS recorder time, and it's just, it's important to me. I think documenting our life stories is just, is something I hold personally valuable and have this kind of desire to bring that to other people too. That and I love the arrows I do too it's been really helpful for me when, when I'm faced with something future thinking like, okay, I don't have to, I don't have to know the answer, but just where am I kind of being pointed to right now? So what do I see as signs?

Lisa: 5:17

Yes, signs where you're being pointed. Yeah, also, I could see that with the arrows and you know you hear people talk about like I'll talk about my journey or your path that leads you in a certain direction yeah the arrows goes along with that, for sure, and you and I have talked briefly too about how you know, we have different words that, uh, describe certain things for each of us in in similar ways. Like me with capturing essence and you with the sacred stories that that sort of means a similar thing to you yeah which I I think is yeah, it resonates deeply with me for sure.

Lisa: 5:51

So how did you then with with those four arrows in mind, how did you then, uh, go ahead and learn about so video itself is well, at least I think it's. It's not an easy thing to just pick up and learn, but it sounds like you did it quite naturally, where maybe if you're just doing it and picking up your, your camera or a video camera, then it was something that you just practiced and did until you figured it out. But what? What were your next steps then? If you I'm just thinking about people who might be listening to this, who kind of are listening, because maybe there's an intersection between being a healthcare professional similar to myself and then being interested in seeing the value in life stories and recording them, sure what? How did you then learn how to do that video recording?

Whitney Myers: 6:38

uh well, in 2017 was my very first interview kind of as Sacred Stories or starting to dream up this idea and it was with a family member. Many projects do start with a family member, and I traveled to Houston, texas, to interview my husband's grandmother, and I actually hired a videographer to go with me to join me on that. So I was going to do the interview and I hired this videographer and I left that day just kind of going, okay, maybe I could do the video piece too and I would like to learn about that. I knew editing was not going to be something that I wanted the learning curve on and just had heard from professionals that there's a pretty steep learning curve there. So I've always contracted out for the editing.

Whitney Myers: 7:34

But video, I was like, okay, I'm going to give this a whirl and learning some things, kind of self-taught and speaking to other professionals who've kind of guided me and giving me tips, and then maybe, like you said, just an eye for it or just a heart for kind of wanting to have people presented in their best light. I've kind of so, did some projects on my own and still do periodically, but now I also will contract out for videographer services just because I've kind of flip flopped the other direction and said, yeah, it does take a lot to operate the camera and be fully present with the person I'm interviewing and I really don't want to have to be tinkering with that equipment while we're doing it together. So some of my projects, you know, involve another person or two or three. There's been some projects where I've had several staff people on board and those seem to just be a little bit smoother.

Lisa: 8:40

Okay, yeah, that makes sense, so it can be to. The quality that you're doing would require to have maybe a few more hands involved, other people to take off some of that pressure so that you can then focus in on the meaningful conversation that is so important to capture in one of your videos right. Yeah, Okay. So when you were first starting, did you have experiences where you were... m Maybe it wasn't as high quality, but you were able to learn about how impactful the video still was, for, say, your husband's family?

Whitney Myers: 9:13

Right, I think that's a great question. I mean, all of us probably look back, you know, in this kind of business, and we look back on our first projects and we critique them and we're like, oh my gosh, you know, but at the time I mean they were just as meaningful. And then, from a technical standpoint, you do learn some lessons the hard way and learn about. You know you make mistakes and have to correct the next time, and so, yeah, I mean I still found meaning in those early projects and that it's kind of tweaking along the way and going this is something that needs to change.

Lisa: 9:55

Right, right. So what would you find is necessary to do when you're doing your, your videos with people, and what doesn't matter as much?

Lisa: 10:06

Like what makes the video what it is and such high quality. And I guess what I'm getting at is I'm guessing that probably the conversation that you have with people or how you engage people would be essential, and maybe the video parts you can learn over time, but there's probably a piece, the person-centred piece, that needs to happen, regardless of the quality of video.

Whitney Myers: 10:31

Yeah, definitely, and I I feel that's part of what I bring to.

Whitney Myers: 10:37

So I'm not quite to the point where I'm, you know, ready to train other people, necessarily to sit in the interviewer role that may come one day but I just I feel like that's my gift area and what I bring. And then when I have had other staff join me you know they bring certain gifts. Not all are created equal and so I try to kind of vet who I'm working with just to make sure they have an understanding of what I'm trying to do. Um, we talk about what the project is going to look like afterwards to they are kind of on board just this way. Like maybe not all videographers would be on board for a project like this, because it's a lot of it's a lot of quiet.

Whitney Myers: 11:32

It's a lot of you know stationary work.

Whitney Myers: 11:33

They're definitely maneuvering the camera, but it's a long, long form kind of project and it takes a special person to kind of just quietly sit there and sometimes not always, but sometimes there's a heavy emotional component to the projects and so, you know, it takes a special person just to be able to be in the room and kind of hold that, hold that with me and the storyteller. And not everybody is interested in that kind of work and I've found I found a few videographers I work with who really kind of understand what I'm trying to do and we work well together and that's important and I want I want the storyteller to be comfortable with with the other people in the room, you know, so it's not just me but they're.

Whitney Myers: 12:22

they're saying I'm sharing some important stories and who else is going to be in this kind of intimate space with us?

Lisa: 12:32

Yep, yep. So do you find that people, the people's stories that you're helping to share, or get getting them to share, is it those individuals that reach out to you, or is it somebody else on that person's behalf? Like, is it a family member who's asking, or is it the individual themselves that wants their story captured?

Whitney Myers: 12:49

I think most often it's family members who are saying we want to get this done. It's important to us and I've had a few, you know, people that kind of self elect to do this and they're very intentional, just with legacy and, you know, not ultra proud. They're just there, they know, they understand the value of it and have sought me out to do that.

Lisa: 13:18

That's awesome. It is hard to understand or to see that other people might be interested in your story right.

Lisa: 13:26

Like I think for me to reach out to you it's like, oh, who wants to hear about me? You know, I think a lot of people think that way. So it makes sense to me that it's family members who are reaching out and not so much the individuals. But I think that just speaks to how important it is that we do whether it's this generation or a future generation that we do eventually want the stories of our loved ones. Like it might not be sometimes I hear it sometimes it skips a generation, you know it might not be that I'm looking for my parents story and I don't. I don't mean that actually, mom, in case you're listening, but I mean it for, like learning about your grandparents or great-grandparents and what that ancestry looks like and where your roots come from. So, yeah, I think that's important to think like we are going to want these stories someday. And the fact that you worked in memory care have you been on either side of that, where you can kind of join together the video piece and memory care?

Whitney Myers: 14:21

Yeah, I haven't actually. And memory care yeah, I haven't actually. We did a little work in the memory care community, where I was, of recording stories in the community and then we would use pretty long biographical information about the residents just to better understand you know, a kind of a requirement to familiarize yourself with that so that you could better understand how to give care, certain ways the person might be interacting with other residents or with staff. And honestly, before I worked there, I mean just that never had really hit home for me like that and it's your world and so you understand.

Whitney Myers: 15:09

But just how critical it is to knowing a person's story, to being able to give care, and I think it also on just an emotional level, like we all experience that, like when we go for for medical treatment, for something just to the doctor's office, and if our practitioner asks us like tell me about yourself, or what do you do for work, or, you know, wants to know us as a person, it like relaxes us, our shoulders go down and we're just like okay. Or if you've ever been in the hospital for a long period of time, and like getting to know the staff if they want it, you can tell if they genuinely want to get to know you and it, that story component, the story environment story component of that kind of care and so related to memory care, us knowing their story, you know, strengthened the bond and made, made the relationship already from the get go better.

Lisa: 16:15

Yes, absolutely, and I love, I love the example that you gave. Even if you know we're in hospital or or just in our doctor's office and you're talking about something concerning having somebody a healthcare professional break the ice and just ask something that you know the best is about yourself, like tell me a little bit about you, or, you know, just just having something else to talk about besides all the problems and it's the problems that come up well then that's okay. Yeah, but it's a personal, subjective point of view, rather than having to get the answers correct. So I love that, and I know that you have some wonderful information and examples on ways to start conversations and how to capture some of those meaningful moments, and I think one of them I think I read somewhere that one of them is like tell me more or tell me about yourself. I wondered if you could share maybe a few more examples of ways that someone would be able to start a conversation with somebody to capture some of those pieces.

Whitney Myers: 17:13

Yeah, I did write about. Tell me more, and that's one of my favorites asking people about you know where they're from. One of my favourites, I guess, is "what have you been up to lately Is a wonderful conversation starter. Just that kind of opens the door for people to take that wherever they'd like to go, maybe more than another short kind of question that we might ask, but what have you been up to lately? Just sort of gives the person the freedom to take that, maybe a different, a different way.

Lisa: 17:50

Yeah, I love that and you have some great examples. I actually you have an ebook which I'm going to link in the show notes because it's excellent. I happen to have my very own copy and you have an area that's called nurturing a new generation of storytellers and that really encourages people to have conversations with the different generations. So if they're sitting with their grandchildren or you're sitting with your grandparent, being able to encourage conversations and know what to talk about, which I think is a great idea you have examples like make a memory jar or journal, movie night, scavenger hunts, interviewing a loved one, so you've given some ideas on how to do that. Cooking, which I love, because there's so many stories that are just tied to food right and the things that we've, yeah, traditional things.

Lisa: 18:38

So, yeah, those are some ideas.

Lisa: 18:46

I don't know if you have others that you wanted to share.

Whitney Myers: 18:47

Yeah, I put the book together because I was sharing just ideas and tips, kind of like the tell me more thing on my social media, and I was like I would love to consolidate all of these and put them somewhere that people could access them. And I enjoy speaking a lot to groups around the Texas Hill Country area, and when I go speak, people aren't always maybe to wanting to do a legacy film right then, but they definitely scratch the surface of like, oh, I'm interested in either doing it myself or just, you know, learning more about, about people in their lives, and so I wanted a tool for people to do that. And so, yeah, it does have some great questions that do go a little bit deeper. It has just resources that I've collected, organizations that you know. If people are interested in learning more about this kind of work, that they can know where to go, because there's so many, as you know, great resources out there, but but just people don't know where to find them and I wanted a consolidated place where all that kind of lived.

Lisa: 19:55

That's perfect. I love it that you have a an area called family dinner project, which I think is pretty cool too, having conversations over the dinner table, which sometimes I think dinner. You know we talk either about the weather, or everything's quiet, or we're afraid to talk about things because it's hard to get information out of, say, teenagers. So having different things, that it doesn't matter what the answers are or have us nag family members on. You know what to do and what's right and what's wrong. This is nice to have just some ideas on other things to talk about, so you have conversation cards and things to listed in there, which I really love.

Whitney Myers: 20:35

I love, I love games. I'm a person, I just like games. And when it comes to conversation and I mentioned this in the ebook, but they're just, it's an entry point mentioned this in the ebook, but they're just, it's an entry point playing a game, if you, if you put it under that kind of name, playful, it allows people to engage, they can choose. If they engage, they can, you know, draw a question card or whatever. And I list a few in there. I think one game I mentioned in there is like putting somebody in the hot seat and asking them questions, and if it's under a game, you know your family member might be a little bit more willing to participate and just to keep it light and it may go a little deeper. Those the conversation cards, you know, they may be fun, they may be deep and you might have a little mix of both. And I also think it helps us and I've talked about this before, but it helps us just practice our good listening skills. When we play a game it's like you get a turn and then I get a turn to be the storyteller and then I get a turn to be the listener, and it helps us. We don't have a lot of opportunities to practice that kind of listening.

Lisa: 21:49

That's true yeah, listening is definitely a skill that I think we could all polish a little bit better, right? Yeah, do you have other tips as well as listening, because that's what I think we all should be working on? All right, do you have other tips on somebody who would like to, you know, look into capturing their own story through video or otherwise? Do you have little tips that would be helpful for somebody just starting out on what they could do to do that? It might not be to the same quality that you're able to provide, but what would you suggest for people just starting out?

Whitney Myers: 22:25

I think first suggestion for people starting out is just do. It is, do something. Something is better than nothing.

Whitney Myers: 22:35

And so turn on your you know smartphone press record, capture a story. If somebody in your family is having a birthday or if it's a special day of the week or time of the year, just press record and go around the room or ask the person you're with and just say tell me a story, one story, and then see how that feels for you and for them. And you've got one story and then perhaps it inspires you. I want to do more and you can, and you can hire a professional to assist you or you might go 'this is a passion for me' and you know 'I'm gonna do one question every time I'm with this person' or whatever.

Whitney Myers: 23:20

But yeah, and there's a lot of great resources out there and I mentioned some of them in my ebook but that help you. If you're like, what kind of questions do I ask the person that I'm with? There's a lot of a ton of great resources. My ebook has some questions, but also there's there's lots of books you can get at your local library that help with with good questions. To ask a family member.

Lisa: 23:44

I love that. What are ways that people then use their videos, like, how do they share them? In your experience, do people share them with family? Do they share them otherwise? Are they just for their own watching, like what do you find is usually the case?

Whitney Myers: 23:59

Great question.

Whitney Myers: 24:00

I think primarily they're for them, their own, watching. Many of the people that I've worked with. I do have some samples on my website but a lot of the people I work with request that their videos remain private. That's just. Or even there's been certain clips that I've asked to share and the family's, like you, know that one, that one's a little too personal for us. We don't want to share that one. You can share this. But so mainly I think people keep them private.

Whitney Myers: 24:26

I think the majority of the people I work with don't watch their films with any kind of regularity. It's simply the having them. That is is the best and that's the gift just knowing those stories are captured, knowing they can watch them Early. When the videos first come out and the project is released, you know people will have a watch party or might watch it on a birthday or anniversary or something like that, and then I've had families that have watched them, like the next birthday or the next anniversary. It's something fun, they can go, look back.

Whitney Myers: 25:08

And I've had I've had some clips played at memorial services. I had a neat and interesting woman that that passed and the family shared the video with the officiant at the funeral so that the person could get a better understanding of their loved one and and I actually attended that funeral and it was so neat because I could hear her voice through the words of the minister, I could hear my storyteller's voice coming through and it was just, it was beautiful. So they never played the video, but they use the video just to help kind of form, form the service. So it was neat,

Lisa: 26:03

Aw, that's beautiful. It just goes to show you, you know, if you think about end of life and showing it in a memorial like a, a celebration of life, if you will, where you get to hear the person's voice or see. We, we all know that. You know, when you go to a service like that, usually there are there's music and photos or videos playing through. So that makes complete sense to me.

Lisa: 26:27

That like what an honour right to have that video showing and that's something that you could be a part of and I'm guessing that kind of plays into your life of being in ministry as well kind of tying all these worlds together right on how important these family stories are, or just individual stories about a person's own experiences in life that can then really be reflected on when end of life comes. Yep, beautiful.

Whitney Myers: 26:56

And you asked me at the beginning about just my business name Sacred Stories and that you just you just described it. For me, I, that's, that is such like the word that I use. It's one of it's like essence, what we talked about. Right, it's a word that holds a bunch of other words. Yeah, sacred is just, it's a big word. Yeah, yeah, and for me that the stories of our lives, they are sacred, they're special, they're important, they're valuable, and then the interchange of one person telling their story and another person listening, that's the word I use to describe it. It's just, it's powerful and special.

Lisa: 27:46

Yeah, absolutely it is, and I find that, uh, when we talk about religion and spirituality, that looks different over the generations and I think it's continuing to change and evolve and I think this storytelling and capturing our stories and listening to each other is a form of just spiritually being with one another right? If you do it the right way and you really effectively and deeply listen, that's a way, I believe, that we can really capture that spiritual essence of who we are as as people, as humans. So it's, it's beautiful to me what you're doing, yeah.

Whitney Myers: 28:25

I, I follow, I follow some interviewers and just I like to study people. That do you know, interview other people and one of them that I love is Krista Tippett is her name and she has a podcast called "On being. And she says and she wrote a book. It was one of the first books I read when I was starting out in 2017.

Whitney Myers: 28:52

But she says that one of the first questions that she asks in her interviews is "what is the spiritual or religious background of your childhood? And she said, or she says that that question anybody can answer, that, no matter what your practices or your preferences, or if you oppose it or whatever, you can respond to that question. So she says, in a way, it's an icebreaker, it breaks the ice. But she says that it also kind of sets the tone for her interviews. It just says like we're going to be going a little deeper. This is going to be a different kind of conversation. It's not going to be about spirituality and religion, but it's just going to be. She said it just sort of sets the tone and I love that and I love I've tried to use that, not maybe that question specifically. Sometimes I have but questions like that that just sort of say this is going to be a little bit different. Yes, not the facts, because we can easily gather our family facts and dates and accomplishments.

Whitney Myers: 30:11

We can find those and and have a make a list of those, like my bio or something that you read. That's easy,

Lisa: 30:18

Right,

Whitney Myers: 30:19

It's what's in between all of that that many of us long to to know about people in our lives,

Lisa: 30:27

Yeah, we want to know about the personalities, about what the experience was like, the emotion behind, like how did you feel going through that situation? We can find anything on that's right ancestry, right like the 1901. This happened but, that's not what we're looking for. It's like I want to hear that person's voice and how they felt. And can I relate to what's what happened in their life, like when I'm looking at my own, you know, and we want things to relate to.

Lisa: 30:54

I can't relate to 1901 you know, on a piece of paper. I'm going to relate to this story

Whitney Myers: 30:58

that's right

Lisa: 30:59

The emotion that's evoked. Yeah, yep. Well, thank you for this. I'm going to relate to the story. That's right. The emotion that's evoked, yeah, yep. Well, thank you for this. I'm going to make sure that people know where to find you, but, in case for those listening, what is your website and where's the best place to for people to connect with you?

Whitney Myers: 31:13

Sure, I've really enjoyed the conversation. Sacred Stories is the name of my business and you can find me online at sacredstoriesfilms. com

Lisa: 31:23

okay, sacredstoriesfilms. com, and you'll find Whitney Myers there.

Lisa: 31:27

and, whitney, I'm gonna say that you're pretty approachable and easy to get along with and I'm sure that you would welcome people to reach out and connect for whatever reason, if you can be of any assistance

Whitney Myers: 31:38

Absolutely. Thank you for that, yep.

Lisa: 31:40

This has been so fun.

Lisa: 31:42

Thank you, Whitney. I know we'll be talking again and just best wishes for everything going forward and let's stay connected.

Whitney Myers: 31:48

Thank you, will do.

Lisa: 31:51

Thanks for listening today. If you enjoyed this episode, take a minute to look at the show notes for resources and links, and be sure to leave me a rating and review. And also you can follow the show so that you get notified of when the next one comes out. And lastly, if you can think of somebody in your life who you think would enjoy this podcast, I hope you share it with them as well, so that they can listen in on the conversations and ponder how to capture their own essence. Take care, and I look forward to the next time.